You’ve Never Failed Me Yet (?)

Nice words to a beautiful worship song, but what about when it does not feel true?  When you pray and seek the face of Father and the heavens seem bronze.  Worship ceases to be celebration of love and care because no one really seems to care, not deeply.  Worse yet, leaders do not seem to care about the people for whom they are performing with volumes too loud for comfort and enough to injure ears.  (Psalm 55:12-14)

Like the story in Reader’s Digest, a wife complained to her husband about the car beside them with the booming stereo that was rocking their car, “Well, that driver will soon enough be almost deaf.”  To which he replied, “Yes, Hon, but it won’t do us any good, He’ll just crank it LOUDER.”

Maybe denominational leaders should require hearing tests for pastors and worship leaders to see if they are operating with damaged ears.  They might realize then what they are doing to the rest of us, especially children with not fully developed hearing apparatuses.  Maybe the rocker, Ted Nugent, was right, “If it’s too loud, [I’m] too old.”  Maybe too old to attend “worship” performances that will damage my hearing as much as circular saws and hammer drills which operate at ~90-100dB.  (See https://capost2k.wordpress.com/the-science-behind-if-its-too-loud-youre-too-old/.)

Just feeling very discouraged these days and wondering if anyone really cares.

“Someone Watching Over Me” © c.a.post, 1985

1. So many times I’ve been so lonely,
   no one seemed to really understand.
   The pain I felt inside was more than only
   an ache that could be soothed by a gentle hand.
   Longer than I even can remember,
   the bleeding heart-wound never seemed to end.
   Looking for relief I just would wander,
   blinded by the razor hurt within.Yet, time again I’d catch a glimpse behind me and I’d see
   the flash of death’s cold glinting sword that brushed so close to me,
   and wondered how it failed to end the task it had begun,
   my soul so tired, I couldn’t, if I’d known which way to run.Chorus
   There must be Someone watching over me.
   I surely couldn’t make it on my own.
   I feel the pull of His unseen hand.
   I hear His silent whisper in my soul.

2. I never found a crowd that I could fit in;
   could never find a home where I belong.
   Running from the weakness that I knew, I’d just pretend
   the loneliness would leave if I was strong.
   Looking for a circle that would close me in its arc,
   I’d cover all the fears I had to hide.
   But as the line drew closer to what’s really in my heart
   I’d step back and watch it close with me outside.So darkness followed sunset just as dawn came after night,
   and days turned into weeks and months without a hope in sight.
   Year by year I wondered how this life could still go on,
   waiting for each day to pass and glad when it was gone.

3. Sometimes my days just turn like empty pages.
   Sometimes they feel so full they ought to burst.
   I know too well how far I missed the best that life can give;
   I also sigh relief; I missed the worst.
   But now I know that Someone special’s standing by;
   knowing, yet it does not stop His care.
   Laughing with my laughter, feeling every tear I cry;
   there’s nothing in my heart that we can’t share.Now all those empty memories of tears I cried alone
   are just shadows of a nightmare passed before Your love-light shone.
   And all these times and questions that I still don’t understand
   don’t really matter anymore since You now hold my hand.Alternate chorus
   Then You reached out and took me by the hand
   even though You’d seen the dark inside.
   You loved me back to life and made me understand
   there’s nothing from Your love I have to hide.Chorus
   There must be Someone watching over me.
   I surely couldn’t make it (couldn’t take it) on my own,
   I feel the pull of Your unseen hand.
   I hear Your silent whisper in my soul.

Psalm 130:1-6
Out of the depths I cry to you, Yahweh; Yahweh, hear my voice.
Let Your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy.
If You, Yahweh, kept a record of sins, Yahweh, who could stand?
But with You there is forgiveness, so that we can, with reverence, serve You.
I wait for Yahweh, my whole being waits, and in His word I put my hope.
I wait for Yahweh, more than watchmen wait for the morning.