Daylight Wasting Time

Two stories, the first is apocryphal about how Daylight Saving Time came into existence.

Daylight Wasting timeDon’t let anyone fool you about stories of Ben Franklin and treaties between the EU and US over how this absurdity we call Daylight Saving Time began!

Congressmen and Senators were spending lots of time with their constituents . . . until someone noticed they were spending LOTS of time with their constituents.  So most of them went back to D.C. so the voters would think they were doing something.  Having picked up some chicken tenders, wings, and pretzels to go from Hamilton’s Bar and Grill, they were sitting around the Upper Senate Park and one of them noted, “Well, we really oughta DO something, pass a law or at least have a discussion so the folks back home will think we had a reason to come back here.”

After a lengthy heated discussion on whether this year’s salary raise should be bigger or smaller than last year’s, one of them suggested it was getting late and he did not like to walk in D.C. after dark.  Which made a light bulb turn on over one of the congressperson’s heads!  “Hey, why don’t we give everyone in the US an extra hour of daylight in the summer!?  That would show we really cared about the dum-dums . . . I mean ‘voters’ back home.”

The bill was about to pass unanimously when an aide from a high school diplomacy program pointed out that 1), they did not have power over the sun; and 2) without that power, if they lengthened each day by an hour, it would not take long before people were going to work in the middle of the night, and that would not settle well with the dum-d . . . uh, voters.

So one of the senators in the park suggested they could solve this very easily by just removing an hour at the front of each day that they “lengthened.”  They all cheered at this “solution” and voted to move the clocks forward every spring at some arbitrary time, which after lengthy negotiations with Europe and much of the rest of the world’s politicians, was decided to do it on a Saturday in March.

However, with March Madness coming in the US, they decided they could mess up church schedules with less acrimony than disturbing the basketball and school schedules, so they all opted for the Sunday morning after the first Saturday in March before the NCAA tournament began.

Another high school student working as an aide pointed out to the other students there, that it would be much easier to just ask everyone to get up an hour earlier, but he was quickly hushed by the others who wanted to go out for a party that night.

And THAT‘s how Daylight Wasting . . . I mean, Saving Time was born in the halls of the ponderous panderers.

The second story is true with only the names changed to protect the guilty.

Working in an office in the early 1990s a discussion about Daylight Saving Time came up as we were preparing for the abrupt and uncomfortable change in the spring clocks.  A former high school student, Perceptival, with more than an ounce of sense said, “If it is really THAT important to come to work an hour earlier, why can’t we just do that without messing with the clock?”  To which one his colleagues, Ludicricious, said (and I am not making this up!), “Oh, heavens! I have to get up at 6:00 to get here at 8am!  I could NEVER get up at 5:00!”   The former high school student pointed out, “But that is exactly what you ARE doing.  You’re just calling it 6:00am.”  At which point the discussion ended because everyone wanted to go to the last party they could before moving their clocks forward an hour.  Apparently, most of them could not stay up late enough after the spring time change for it to get dark. Emo1 

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