Remember Lot’s Wife – A Warning for Christ’s Disciples

“Remember Lot’s wife!” Luke 17:32
(https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=luke+17%3A22-37%29&version=ESV)

For those of you who hold to religious beliefs, this blog is specifically for Christ-followers who do not depend on religion, but on the relationship that we can have with The Uncreated One, the One True God, who has revealed Himself in Jesus, through whom we anticipate eternal life.

Luke 17 is an interesting place for Jesus to give this warning.  Note, it is not to those who do not know the Scriptures (granting that those hearing this word of caution only had the Old Testament), but to those who were scholars of the Hebrew revelations of YHWH, The God Who Is.  Furthermore, this ALERT is given to his followers in the middle of His explanation of what it will be like in the Last Days. 
“Remember Lot’s wife!”

In Genesis 19 the story is told of how God’s angels were sent to the Twin Sin Cities of Sodom and Gomorrah.  Forced homosexuality was common; in fact, Lot offered his two daughters to try to appease a mob (not a very virtuous dad!), but this only enraged the mob more.  Such was the lifestyle and violence of these cities that people could do whatever they wanted as long as they had the power to do so.  Worship of pagan gods often involved sexual perversions and human sacrifice, especially of children.  Anything that was pleasurable was allowed; if it feels good, just do it.  They lived in a fertile valley with comforts and ease with little to disturb their “peace,” such as it was if you were among the powerful. 
“Remember Lot’s wife!”

Anyone could have escaped with Lot if they had been willing, but Lot could not even persuade his future sons-in-law to run from the coming calamity. 

Finally, the angels literally dragged Lot and his wife and daughters out of the city with the warning, “Escape for your life.  Do not look back or stop anywhere in the valley.  Escape to the hills, lest you be swept away.”  As Lot fled the metropolis, The God Who Is sent fiery hail onto Sodom and Gomorrah, (possibly a serious meteor shower and/or an earthquake along the East African Geological Rift that would have released petroleum and gases) so terrible that the cities and the populace were suddenly and totally destroyed . . . but as they ran from the destruction, Lot’s wife looked back . . . and became a pillar of salt! 
“Remember Lot’s wife!”

Why would Lot’s wife have looked back?  Think about it.  Their family had a nice house, lots of meat, fruit and vegetables, deep wells with plenty of water, a comfortable climate, luxurious clothes and rich temples; her husband was a big shot in the city gate and she had siblings, uncles, aunts and cousins in town.  What did it matter if they had to tolerate some abortions, some child sacrifices, occasional murders, a little thievery, lying judges, adulterous neighbors and temple prostitution?  It was a good life and now they were moving to a “little city,” without all those comforts.  Zoar was not an attractive tourist destination!  So she looked back with longing for the things of the old life.  “Remember Lot’s wife!”

In Luke 17 Jesus begins by telling His disciples of the deceptions that will come, but warns that His coming will be like lightning flashing: instantaneous and clearly evident.  He then reminds His disciples of the good life Lot and his family had found in Sodom; “just as it was in the days of Lot — they were eating and drinking, buying and selling, planting and building.”  Then He sounds an ALARM!  “Remember Lot’s wife!”

God’s call to us at the end of time or at our deaths is not in and of itself salvific, just as the angels’ care for Lot and his family was not enough to save them if they still longed for the old life!

“Clearly that call is not going to produce a miraculous last-minute change in us out of all relation to our previous walk with the Lord.  No, in that moment we shall discover our heart’s real treasure.  If it is the Lord Himself, then there will be no backward look.  A backward glance decides everything.  It is so easy to become more attached to the gifts of God than to the Giver – and even, I should add to the work of God than to God Himself!”  Watchman Nee, The Normal Christian Life

What might tempt you to look back at that last minute, when you are about to take your last breath on earth or at that moment when Jesus parts the clouds and returns to catch away those who love Him?  What is your heart’s real treasure!?

Would you look back and wish for another day or two in your house?  Perhaps your desire would be for one more time in a position of power or recognition for your accomplishments.  Maybe your last thought will be about that one who offended you in some way; maybe you could get even if you had just a moment more on earth.  Would you want to stay just a little longer here in order to finish a task, watch another movie, relax in an easy chair or on a beach, eat another meal, see a son or daughter graduate, go on one more trip, work little more on your “bucket list?”
“Remember Lot’s wife!”

“Prosperity knits a man to the World.  He feels that he is ‘finding his place in it’, while really it is finding its place in him.  His increasing reputation, his widening circle of acquaintances, his sense of importance, the growing pressure of absorbing and agreeable work, build up in him a sense of being really at home on earth.”  C.S. Lewis

My hope for all of you who have received this in your email or on your WordPress Reader, and for the many of you who will read this when I email you, is that you will look forward to meeting Jesus face to face and “love His appearing.” (2 Timothy 4:8)

“Whoever seeks to preserve his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life will keep it.  I tell you, in that night there will be two in one bed.  One will be taken and the other left.” (Luke 17:33-34)
“Remember Lot’s wife!”

Love Your Enemies – Hostility Against Christian Churches

For any who doubt that persecution is coming to the American Church, enter “Is the USA becoming Anti-Christian” in a search engine.

• There you will find Politico’s scrutiny of “violent evangelical extremism;”
• a report on the FBI’s investigation into “violent radical-traditionalist Catholics” (those who prefer Latin masses);
• Time Magazine’s notice that “Regular Christians Are No Longer Welcome In American Culture;”
• a Yahoo News announcement that anti-Christian hostility is reaching “unprecedented levels in culture and government;”
• an article about the Department of Justice refusal to prosecute church vandals clearly identified on surveillance videos;
• another of Secretary of State Anthony Blinken’s disavowal of religious freedom being equal among paramount civil liberties along with freedom of speech, the press, free assembly and to petition the government, all guaranteed in the first amendment to the Constitution;
• Pew research that shows a rapid decline of Protestant and Catholic influence in our nation.

And these just scratch the surface!  But the best is yet to come!! 
We do not fear the growing hostility, but pray for our persecutors, love our enemies, and do good to all people, especially those of the household of faith.  “The blood of the martyrs is the seed of the church.” (Tertullian)
“Count it all joy when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” (James 1:2-4)
“Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either.”  (Luke 6:27-29)
“Do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell. Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows. So everyone who acknowledges me before men, I also will acknowledge before my Father who is in heaven, but whoever denies me before men, I also will deny before my Father who is in heaven.” (Matthew 10:28-33)

Guest Blog:  Hostility Against Churches

by Arielle Del Turco, M.A.
On March 27, 2023, three children and three adults were killed in a shooting at The Covenant School, a private Christian school and a ministry of Covenant Presbyterian Church in Nashville, Tennessee.

The assailant shot through glass side doors to access areas throughout the building, including the church office and the children’s ministry. Covenant released a statement that said, “Our community is heartbroken. We are grieving tremendous loss and are in shock coming out of the terror that shattered our school and church.”¹

Research conducted by Family Research Council (FRC) indicates that criminal acts against churches have been steadily on the rise for the past several years, and the first quarter of 2023 has continued the upward trend. The first three months of 2023 saw approximately three times the number of acts of hostility perpetrated against churches in the same timeframe last year.

Act of Hostility Continue to Rise
In December 2022, FRC released an extensive publication documenting a sharp rise in acts of hostility against churches in the United States. Analyzing publicly available data from the past five years, FRC found a total of 420 documented acts of hostility that occurred between January 2018 and September 2022. The types of acts identified include vandalism, arson, gun-related incidents, bomb threats, and more. There also appeared to be an increase in frequency over the course of the reporting period. FRC’s report identified 137 acts of hostility against churches between January and September 2022. By comparison, there were 96 incidents in all 12 months of 2021. FRC also identified 54 incidents against churches in 2020, 83 in 2019, and 50 in 2018.

Since the launch of that report, FRC has continued to track acts of hostility against churches. The fourth quarter of 2022 saw an additional 54 incidents, for a total of 191 in 2022. That number is nearly double the previous year’s total of 96. In the first quarter of 2023, 69 incidents have already occurred. If this rate continues, 2023 will have the highest number of incidents of the six years FRC has tracked, continuing the upward trend. Most of the 2023 incidents occurred in January (43); 14 occurred in February, and 12 occurred in March.

Incidents per month, January-March 2023
Compared to the same timeframe in previous years, January through March of 2023 represents a significant increase in acts of hostility. In those same months, 2018 saw 15 acts of hostility against churches; 2019 saw 12; 2020 saw none; 2021 saw 14; and 2022 saw 24.

Criminal acts of vandalism and destruction of church property are symptomatic of a collapse in societal reverence and respect for houses of worship and religion — in this case, churches and Christianity. Some people appear increasingly comfortable lashing out against church buildings, pointing to a larger societal problem of marginalizing core Christian beliefs, including those that touch on hot-button political issues related to human dignity and sexuality.

The anger and division that increasingly characterize American society are endangering churches and eroding religious freedom. When congregants feel targeted by members of their communities or church buildings bear the brunt of outrage over political events, the very ability to live out one’s faith safely is under attack. Violent or destructive incidents that interfere with an individual’s lawful free exercise of religion at their house of worship present a significant nationwide challenge.

Analyzing Incidents from January to March, 2023
Most of the incidents covered in this supplemental report are acts of vandalism; FRC identified 53 occurrences of vandalism in the first quarter of 2023; 10 arson attacks, arson attempts, or fires with unknown causes; three gun-related incidents; three bomb threats; and two other incidents (assault, etc.). Three incidents fell into more than one category. Twenty-nine states experienced acts of hostility against churches. North Carolina had the most incidents, with seven. Ohio and Tennessee each had five. Florida, Missouri, and Pennsylvania each had four. No incidents were found in 21 states or the District of Columbia.

Vandalism
Acts of vandalism comprised the majority of reported acts of hostility against churches in the first three months of 2023. Some incidents appeared to have been committed by youth or persons struggling with mental illness. Some acts of vandalism against churches appeared to have been motivated by anger toward the church that was targeted. Several instances of vandalism also involved theft. Many acts of vandalism against churches were under criminal investigation; some were under investigation as hate crimes.²

Many of the acts of vandalism represented unexplained acts of destruction, such as an outdoor nativity scene being destroyed³ or rocks being thrown through a window.⁴ In Memphis, Tennessee, vandals broke into Holy Nation Church, smashed the stained-glass windows in the sanctuary, and stole equipment the church uses to broadcast its services online. The pastor explained the situation by pointing to larger problems facing youth struggling to grapple with their own emotional distress. “I hold no ill will,” Pastor Andrew Perpener Jr. stated. “These things are just a manifestation of a greater hurt.”⁵

Some of the incidents conveyed profound anger and aggression being directed toward churches. In Winston-Salem, North Carolina, vandals broke into the Dellabrook Presbyterian Church on Valentine’s Day and sprayed a fire extinguisher all over the church. The ventilation and air- conditioning system picked up the powder residue from the fire extinguisher and spread it throughout the building, causing around $40,000 in damage. Luellen Curry, who works at the church, told a local news station, “I just don’t understand. I keep wondering why. It shows a great deal of anger. And were they angry at us? Were they angry at churches? Were they angry at God? I just don’t understand why someone would do this.”⁶

In February, vandals entered Jesus Is Alive World Center in Reading, Pennsylvania, and destroyed sound equipment, a podium, and 100-year-old stained-glass windows. They also damaged a piano and television, threw chairs around the building, and discharged a fire extinguisher, ruining the carpet. Still, Pastor Isaiah Adio told reporters, “We are not going to be frustrated, we will continue doing what we are doing for the body of Christ and our community.”⁷

In some acts of vandalism, hateful messages were left behind. At least one church was vandalized with Satanic symbols.⁸ A pro-life sign outside of a church was vandalized with the message “Womens body womens choice.”⁹ On March 3, vandals wrote “TRANS PWR” in black spray paint on the front of St. Joseph Catholic Church in Louisville, Kentucky. This incident occurred the day after the Kentucky House of Representatives passed a bill that would protect children from harmful gender-transition procedures.¹⁰

Arson, Attempted Arson or Fires of Unknow Origin
From January to March of 2023, there were 10 instances of arson, attempted arson, or fires with unknown causes. Many of these acts were deeply disturbing. On January 3, Portland Korean Church, a vacant 117-year-old building in Portland, Oregon, was set on fire. The 27-year-old suspect, whose legal name is Cameron Storer but who identifies as female, claimed voices in Storer’s head threatened to “mutilate” Storer if Storer refused to burn the church down.¹¹ Goodwill Baptist Church, a historically black church in Austin, Texas, was set on fire on March 6 in what police believed to be arson, causing $200,000 in damages.¹² In other instances, individuals attempted to set fire to crosses or statues that were outside church buildings.

Gun-Related Incidents
Three gun-related incidents occurred on church property in the first three months of 2023, including the shooting at The Covenant School. In one incident, two adults and two juveniles shot 50 rounds from 9mm pistols at a Mennonite church building in Versailles, Missouri; the property damage was charged as a hate crime.¹³ In another incident, a late-night shooting took place in the parking lot of the Praise Temple Baptist Church in Shreveport, Louisiana, sending four individuals to the hospital.¹⁴

Bomb Threat
FRC found three incidents of bomb threats against churches in the first three months of 2023. On February 19, a passerby noticed a pipe bomb outside St. Dominic Catholic Church in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The Philadelphia Police Department’s bomb squad removed the 18-inch device but did not tell reporters whether they believed the church had been targeted.¹⁵ On January 30, a suspect was charged with a felony after she threatened to blow up Gracelife Chapel near Pevely, Ohio. The suspect had reportedly issued multiple threats to a church employee, one time texting, “I will make your church go bye bye.”¹⁶ Another incident involved a teenager calling in a false bomb threat to a church in Nashville.¹⁷

Other
Two incidents in the first three months of 2023 fell into the “other” category; one was a violent attack. On March 12, a man was arrested for stabbing someone at Crossfire Church in Springfield, Oregon. Church staff said the assailant had been attending the ministry and had never shown signs of violence before the assault. Staff chalked up the assailant’s actions to drug use and expressed frustrations with Oregon’s increasingly liberal drug laws, which they saw as contributing to substance abuse. The victim sustained non-life-threatening injuries to his head and neck. Pastor Aaron Taylor stated, “We are affected on a regular basis by the fentanyl crisis that is in our community and is hurting so many.” Yet, he insisted that he would not let the attack negatively impact the church’s ministry. “We’ll never screen people who come to church. Instead what we’ll do is have a very robust security and staff.”¹⁸

Conclusion
January of 2023 was a particularly intense month for acts of hostility against churches. Although the number of actions dropped in February and March. The first quarter of 2023 overall saw an unusually high number of acts of hostility, with 69 such incidents being documented. Our research indicates that number is more than the entirety of 2018, in which we identified only 50 incidents, or 2020, in which we identified 54. This steep increase is a cause for concern.

To learn more about FRC’s findings on acts of hostility against churches, check out our full publication released in December 2022 at FRC.org/HostilityAgainstChurches

 Arielle Del Turco, M.A., is Assistant Director of the Center for Religious Liberty at Family Research Council.
Abigail Ferrara, Laura Grossberndt, and Chris Gacek are additional contributors to this report.

¹ “Six killed, including three children, in Tennessee school shooting,” NBC News, March 28, 2023, https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/live-blog/nashville-school-shooting-covenant-live-updates-rcna76861.
² Marcus Espinoza, “Man in custody after several Camden County and Gloucester County churches vandalized, police say,” Fox 29 Philadelphia, January 13, 2023, https://www.fox29.com/news/man-in-custody-after-several-camden-county-and- gloucester-county-churches-vandalized-police-say.
³ Hannah Kliger, “Parish leaders, worshippers lament vandalism of nativity scene at Saint Nicholas of Tolentine in Queens,” CBS News New York, January 9, 2023, https://www.cbsnews.com/newyork/news/parish-leaders-worshippers-lament- vandalism-of-nativity-scene-at-st-nicholas-of-tolentine-in-queens/.
⁴ “Police Investigating Vandalism of Takoma Park Church,” Source of the Spring, January 9, 2023, https://www.sourceofthespring.com/takoma-park-news/2802064/police-investigating-vandalism-of-takoma-park-church/.
⁵ Walter Murphy, “Pastor speaks out after Memphis church vandalized for 2nd time in month,” Action News 5, January 9, 2023,  https://www.actionnews5.com/2023/01/10/pastor-speaks-out-after-memphis-church-vandalized-2nd-time-month/.
⁶ Louie Tran, “‘It’s horrifying’: Winston-Salem church vandalized on Valentine’s Day and left with $40K worth of damage,” WXII NBC 12, February 17, 2023, https://www.wxii12.com/article/its-horrifying-winston-salem-church-vandalized-on- valentines-day-and-left-with-dollar40k-worth-of-damage/42942019.
⁷ Alyana Gomez, “Reading, Pa. church vandalized ‘beyond comprehension,’” ABC 6 Philadelphia, February 8, 2023, https://6abc.com/reading-pennsylvania-church-vandalism-jesus-is-alive-world-center-pa/12783031/.
⁸ Andrew Mobley, “Izard County historic church vandalized with satanic symbols; Sheriff investigating,” KATV ABC 7, February 5, 2023, https://katv.com/news/local/izard-county-church-vandalized-with-satanic-symbols-sheriffs-office- investigating-violet-hill-arkansas-larkin-road-old-philadelphia-church-methodist-national-register-of-historic-places-  pentagram-inverted-cross-vandalism-satanism-upside-down-cross-paint.
⁹ Micaiah Bilger, “Abortion Activists Vandalize Catholic Church’s Pro-Life Banners,” Life News, January 30, 2023, https://www.lifenews.com/2023/01/30/abortion-activists-vandalize-catholic-churchs-pro-life-banners/.
¹⁰ Billy Kobin, “Louisville church, other areas hit with ‘TRANS PWR’ graffiti after House OK’s gender bill,” Louisville Courier Journal, March 3, 2023, https://www.courier-journal.com/story/news/local/2023/03/03/louisville-st-joseph- catholic-church-hit-with-trans-pwr-graffiti-kentucky-hb-470/69969226007/.
¹¹ Aaron Mesh, “Person Set Fire to Century-Old Portland Church on Orders From Voices in Her Head, Court Records Say,” Willamette Week, January 5, 2023, https://www.wweek.com/news/2023/01/05/person-set-fire-to-century-old-portland- church-on-orders-from-voices-in-their-head-court-records-say/.
¹² Ryan Autullo, “Arson suspected at Black Baptist church in South Austin,” Austin American-Statesman, March 7, 2023, https://www.statesman.com/story/news/local/2023/03/07/arson-suspected-black-goodwill-baptist-church-south-  austin/69982242007/.
¹³ Michael Foust, “2 Men Charged with Hate Crime in Shooting, Vandalism of Missouri Church,” Christian Headlines, March 23, 2023, https://www.christianheadlines.com/contributors/michael-foust/men-charged-with-hate-crime-in- shooting-vandalism-of-missouri-church.html.
¹⁴ Greg Atoms, “ Four Shots During Drive-By Shooting at Shreveport Church,” News Radio 710 KEEL, March 4, 2023, https://710keel.com/four-shot-during-drive-by-shooting-at-shreveport-church/.
¹⁵ Tyler Arnold, “Pipe bomb found behind Catholic church in Philadelphia,” Catholic News Agency, February 20, 2023, https://www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/253694/pipe-bomb-found-behind-catholic-church-in-philadelphia.
¹⁶ “Woman charged for allegedly threatening to blow up Pevely-area church,” Leader Publications, February 12, 2023, https://www.myleaderpaper.com/news/police_fire/woman-charged-for-allegedly-threatening-to-blow-up-pevely-area- church/article_39f02a12-aaf0-11ed-97af-5ffc29d706c4.html.
¹⁷ Colleen Guerry, “Teen charged with making false bomb threat against Nashville church,” News 2 WKRN, February 22, 2023, https://www.wkrn.com/news/local-news/nashville/teen-charged-with-making-false-bomb-threat-against-nashville- church/.
¹⁸ Ryan Bonham and Noah Chavez, “Springfield man arrested in stabbing at church, police say,” KEZI ABC 9, March 13, 2023, https://www.kezi.com/news/springfield-man-arrested-in-stabbing-at-church-police-say/article_11f11cea-c1d1-11ed- b188-73ec3258cba4.html.

No One Is “Just A…”; Give Mercy and Grace.

A pastor was walking across his large church’s gym with some guests, introducing them to leaders in the fellowship; associate pastors, tech people and secretaries.  The custodian nodded as they passed and said, “Hi.”   When one of the entourage slowed to greet him, the pastor noted, “He’s just a janitor.”  My heart sank for the “facility engineer.”  I thought maybe he should adopt that for his title so he could get more respect from the overseer of the church.

Something about the default position of a heart that would refer to anyone as “just a” disturbed me.  But then I thought about the times I have driven like a maniac, thinking of the other driver, “Well, he’s just an idiot for driving like that!”  Perhaps you’ve encountered people you have minimized as “just a” and diminished their difficulties or life events that brought them to the place where you encountered each other.

Who knows if that “crazy driver” is not rushing to a family member in a hospital or aggravated from a fight with a spouse.  Maybe he or she is suffering from reprisals at work today, leaving him with a feeling that nothing is in his control.  Perhaps that “just a” that you waited on in the grocery store or who served you at your restaurant table is struggling with emotional or physical pains that they keep hidden.  We tread on holy ground that only God should be walking when we attribute motives to actions, while we are unable to see into the depths of others’ minds.  “Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but YAHWEH weighs the heart.” (Proverbs 21:2)

This takes my thoughts back to when I drove so rudely that it scared my wife and probably terrified the people in the other driver’s auto.  My excuse was, “Well, he started it! Why am I the bad guy?”  But by the time I turned the corner I could hear my Dad’s clear voice in my head, “Son, two wrongs never make a right.”   I pulled over and the Holy Spirit of God flooded the inside of the car as I apologized to Anita.  But the other driver was gone, and there was no way to identify him or apologize.  How I must have embarrassed Jesus that day, to dare to call myself a Christ-follower, and drive like that!

That was several years ago, and it became the watershed that started me praying for other drivers whenever I get behind the steering wheel.  Mercy and grace intersected that day in my heart.  The Lord prevented Anita and me from becoming injuries in an accident and gave me forgiveness for my sin.  Whenever this comes to mind, I pray that those in the other car found this as well.

I am still not perfect (1 Kings 8:46), and sometimes get aggravated, but the Holy Ghost comes to me in those moments and warns me that Jesus is in the car as well.  He tells me that Jesus is merciful to me and is not giving me what I deserve, but something so much better!  Then He reminds me that I have received mercy and grace even though I am “just a…”  And He wants me to extend it to others.  You see, mercy is NOT giving someone the bad that they do deserve.  Grace is giving someone the good they do not deserve.  Mercy is not running someone off a road in revenge for their foolishness; grace is letting them go ahead of you and drive away.

Maybe that pastor in the first paragraph was in an extremely hard spot or trying to exercise grace to a problematic situation beyond his ability that day.  Is it possible he was under spiritual attack by demons of which I had no perception?  So I went up to the “facility engineer” and told him how much most of us appreciated how clean the building was.  I noted that most people have no idea the work involved in polishing tile floors and making sure the gum is removed from the backs of chairs.  He grinned over the buffer and said, “Yeah, it keeps me humble to know that Jesus is watching me and He says, ‘Well done, faithful servant.’  That’s enough reward for me.  ‘Course the pay helps, too. 😉“

The nature of forgiveness is that it always goes to the undeserving!  If forgiveness could be earned, it would not be needed.  It is important to understand here we are not talking about what Dietrich Bonhoffer called “cheap grace,” grace that does not call the recipient up to a new level of life.  That grace is between a person and God, not between us who are all sinners in need of His mercy and grace.

“Remember where we stand, by meaning our words when we say in our prayers, ‘Forgive our trespasses as we forgive those that trespass against us.’ We are offered forgiveness on no other terms. To refuse it is to refuse God’s mercy for ourselves. There is no hint of exceptions and God means what he says.” C.S.Lewis

So give mercy this week to someone who deserves something bad.  Give grace to someone who does not deserve it . . .  just as you were given.  “Freely you have received; freely give.”  Jesus, Matthew 10:8 (NIV)

Avoiding Pornography – Guest Blog from Stephen and Alex Kendrick

Someone once said, “No matter how loud you shout or how high you jump, what matters is how righteously you talk and how straight you walk when you come down.”  With a spontaneous spiritual renewal still proceeding into its second week at Asbury University in Wilmore, Kentucky, it is important to ground this movement in Biblical teaching that will hold the believers who are experiencing this on a path that will transform their lives.  No area of spiritual revival for young men is more critical than how they will interact with the rash of pornography and immorality that has characterized our society for over 40 years.  More on the events at Asbury University at the end of this blog.

The Resolution for Men is a challenging book the Kendrick brothers wrote in 2011.  It is a tremendous resource for any man who wants to become a better husband, father, grandfather, brother, son or friend.  A companion piece, The Resolution for Women, is on my reading list, and it will be interesting to see how Priscilla Schirer treats the concept introduced as a resolution for men in the movie, Courageous.

The powerful summons of this book leads a man to make a set of 12 resolutions, but this blog is Appendix 8 of the text.  The Appendices alone are worth the price of the book!  However, in the spirit of fair warning, do not read this book if you have no heart for improving your relationships with your wife, children, grandkids or church.  Unless you are willing to make some significant changes in the way you deal with the important people in your life, you will come away from reading this with guilt and a sense of futility.  But if you are willing to consider the Resolutions and will allow the Holy Ghost to begin to change your heart, this book can be a lifesaver, a marriage redeemer, a legacy building tutor and a church-invigorating guide to supportive fellowship with other men.

Avoiding Pornography – Appendix 8 in The Resolution for Men by Stephen and Alexander Kendrick
“No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape, also, that you will be able to endure it. (1 Corinthians 10:13)

Pornography is idolatry.  It creates an addiction of lust that leads a man to surrender his mind, body, money, time and purity in service to it.  It becomes his god and perverted master.

When God created sex for a man and his wife alone to enjoy, He permanently linked its pleasure to marriage, love, intimacy and lifelong commitment.  Each of these keeps the sexual relationship meaningful and reinforces a couple’s union in marriage.  In holy matrimony sexual pleasure is grounded in love, freely shared, and maintains its priceless meaning and many healthy benefits.  There is no cost.  No shame.  No guilt.  No regrets.

Pornography is the opposite.  It strips sexual fulfillment of all its purposes.  It disconnects sexual arousal from its foundation of love, marriage and lifelong commitment, and reattaches it to lust, vanity, irresponsibility and the perverted thrills of sin and shock imagery.  Instead of sexual enjoyment being a reward from God, it becomes an undeserved, unearned, unholy illegitimate pleasure with no purpose.  It is like sexual cocaine that lures a man into a trap and then rapes his mind and conscience, leaving him addicted, numb and demoralized.  He begins caring less about the people he loves.  He quits rejoicing over good things and grieving over sin.  He feels guilty, dark and dirty, spiritually distant from God and emotionally disconnected from his wife.  Not only that, he also gives satan a foothold and permission to torment him now with condemnation, lies and accusations.  He is much worse off than when he started.

All addictions create a momentary spike in adrenalin [editor’s note: dopamine] that temporarily feels good but then leaves behind an even deeper void that causes more dissatisfaction than was there before.  Because of this, pornography begs you to pursue its short-term thrill again, repeatedly lying to you that its “high” can pull you out of this spin.  Lust just keeps breeding more lust.  Then you get caught in a cycle that spirals downward and never seems to end.

If you ever feel a ravenous hunger for pornography realize this: it is the last thing you need and it will never satisfy you.  Run.  it is trying to use cheap lust to quench your thirst for genuine love.  Satan always tempts you to meet legitimate needs in illegitimate ways.  What you are actually hungering for is intimacy with God, Himself, the only One who can fill the emptiness in your heart.  Any lust in us reveals that we have not been feasting on the love from our Heavenly Father. (1 John 2:15-17)

Countless men have defeated pornographic addictions by learning to walk intimately and obediently with Christ in His Word and in prayer each day.  Jesus told the woman at the well, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst.  Indeed, the water I give him will become a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” (John 4:13-14 NIV)  His spirit can fill and satisfy you in countless ways that pornography never can.  So be courageous enough to recognize pornography for what it is: moral sewage and a pit of lies.

• It lies, telling you that your sexual pleasure is of higher importance over everything else.
• It steals, robbing you of marital intimacy, honor and future enjoyment of the marriage bed.
• It pollutes, coarsening your mind, numbing your conscience and darkening your thoughts.
• It belittles, turning people made in God’s image into prostitutes, mere sex objects of your lust.
• It enslaves, making you feel like you are powerless to stop or control your impulses.

This should disgust us.  Look up and study the following verses that tell what else lust does to you.  It chokes out the Word in your heart (Mark 4:19); leads you to destroy yourself and degrade your mind (Romans 1:24); causes inner struggle and strained relationships (James 4:1); creates a state of ongoing frustration, anxiety and dissatisfaction (James 4:2); blinds you to what is most important in your life (1 John 2:16-17); and invites the judgment and punishment of God (1 Corinthians 10:1-6).  With these truths and grave warnings in mind, you must resolve before God to walk in complete honesty and purity (1 John 1:7), in full repentance and victory.  Scripture shows us how to walk in freedom through the following ways:

• Do not allow lust to rule you anymore. (Romans 6:12)
• Put it completely out of your life. (Ephesians 4:22)
• Set your mind instead on things above. (Colossians 3:1-5)
• Remember that you now belong to Christ. (Galatians 5:24)
• Remember that God’s grace empowers you to say, “No!” to lust’s demands and deceptions. (Titus 2:12)
• Run away when it tries to draw you back in. (2 Timothy 2:22)
• Be like Jesus, willing to suffer rather than sin. (1 Peter 4:1-2)
• Trust the Holy Spirit to fill you, empower you and help you resist faithfully. (Galatians 5:16-25)
• Escape by believing the promises of God that He will meet your needs and never leave you. (2 Peter 1:4)

God has provided all you need to be completely happy and successful in life (2 Peter 1:3-4).  And His plan involves you living free from pornography.  If you have been enslaved to it in the past, you know firsthand how low it takes you.  God never wants you again to see anyone undressed other than your spouse.  Admit this.  Human willpower isn’t enough.  You need God’s grace.

So if you are addicted to pornography, confess it to God and someone else in your life who can spiritually hold you accountable (James 5:16).  Begin memorizing His Word (like 1 Corinthians 10:13) and using it to fight off temptation.  Feast on God each day.  He is your source of satisfaction (James 1:17).  Get radical about removing things that cause you to stumble (Matthew 18:9).  During times of battle, shift your focus to praying for others to distract you from lustful thoughts (Ephesians 6:17-18).  Stay accountable to godly friends and never stop pursuing victory in Christ.  Here ends the Kendrick’s Guest Blog.

__________________________
I note the end of the Guest Blog because I wish to add some observations.  There are very few men in the West who have not struggled with pornography, except those who refuse to stop indulging in it.  The Bible does not mince words as though sin or sinful actions are miserable and repugnant.  Hebrews 11:25 notes that Moses refused to be called Pharoah’s son but preferred “rather to be mistreated with the people of God than to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin.”  Catch that!?  The pleasures of sin!  Dopamine is the neuroactive molecule your brain releases when you experience sexual pleasure, and it is addictive!  It feels great! 

No one in his right mind has ever been tempted to put a fire on his chest (Proverbs 6:27)!  If sin showed its “rewards” immediately, every brothel would shut down for lack of business; every pornographer would become a scenic photographer.  The attraction of any temptation is the bald-faced lie that it hides: THIS will be fun! THIS will be satisfying. THIS TIME it won’t hurt you.  NO consequences!  If you can expose the lie under the temptation, much of its attractiveness is removed.  But even that is still sometimes not enough when it comes to sexual temptations, especially of “victimless” pornography.  “I’m just looking; I’m not enslaving nor abusing real women.”   However, real women are being used or trafficked for you to get your dopamine thrill!

The bottom line is that every man’s battle is unique and finding the “guardrail” that can keep you from a pornography addiction might take some creative thinking.  Focusing on the fact that a pornographic subject is someone’s daughter helps some men.  One man prayed specifically that God would cut off his hand, or at least make it unusable, if he ever again accessed pornography on his phone or computer; praying in faith, he believes God will honor his request!  Another focuses on alternatives to the attraction such as George Sanchez encourages in his paper, Changing Your Thought Patterns.  Yet, another gave his wife and daughter every password of every site on his computer and smartphone and often leaves his phone with his wife.  Another places his computer so that others in his office can always see what is on his screen.  Others subscribe to a porn monitoring program such as Covenant Eyes or install filtering software on their computers.  One man I know actually gave up using a cell phone rather than risk his soul with addiction to porn; when he finally got another phone he made sure it could not access the internet.

Jesus was very clear.  The wide path that is easy and has a wide gate offers no resistance and is fun.  Living without porn for some men can be extremely narrow and hard.  “Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.” (Matthew 7:13-14)  But it IS findable!  And the consequences of not finding it are severe.  It will cost your marriage, your relationship with your children, your friends, your extended family and maybe even your employability!

The stakes are enormous; the risks are treacherous. “If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.” (Matthew 5:29-30)  Whatever it takes, even if it means taking a Resolution for Men, do not give up as though to accept that you are trapped as a slave to pornography.  Hundreds of thousands of men have found release from its bondage and YOU CAN, TOO!

Day 8 of the great Asbury revival.

People are FLOCKING and waiting in line by the thousands to get inside and worship our Lord.

A revival is happening.

GOD IS NOT DEAD! pic.twitter.com/gH71DdT3ZP

— Graham Allen (@GrahamAllen_1) February 16, 2023

Carlson: Asbury Revival ‘Amazing,’ People Turning to Spiritual Life to Counter Evil in the World

Moments – Jonah’s or Nahum’s?

THE best-known story of the Bible for its details, even better than the parting of the Red Sea or the Crucifixion or Resurrection, is the story of Jonah and the Whale.  Of course, anyone might know from a cursory reading of the text and with limited knowledge of zoology that it was not a whale.  It was a specially prepared big fish that Father had sent just for Jonah.

In Jonah’s moment of time, the Assyrians were the most obnoxious, bloodthirsty and immoral pagan society of his day!  And as everyone knows, when The God Who Is told him to go to Nineveh, Assyria’s capital, and warn the people of impending judgement, he boarded a ship to go the other way, away from his job in about 750BC.  One thing led to another; God sent a storm; Jonah confessed and told his shipmates to throw him overboard; they did, and the storm stopped, and the whole crew and passengers offered sacrifices to Yahweh and made vows.  The fish eventually spit Jonah out after he had repented and agreed to go to Nineveh where he delivered a message of DOOM! 

“Yet forty days, and Nineveh shall be overthrown!” (Jonah 3:4)  No suggestion that they might be able to repent and avoid the calamity… yet that is exactly what they did.  From the king to the lowliest beggar, everyone in the evil city turned from their sin and violence and God relented from His judgement and forgave them.  No disaster, no destruction, just forgiveness and a transformed society in the capital city of Assyria!  (There’s a LOT more to this story and its lessons than this brief synopsis, but you can read it for yourselves.)

A generation later, the people of Nineveh had returned to their nefarious religious practices and violent behavior.  The penitent had been forgiven, but they failed to pass their obedience to God to their children.  Somewhere around 40 years after Jonah had preached to them, the Assyrians captured Northern Israel and subjugated its people, most of whom were carried off as captive slaves.  Fast forward from Jonah’s to Nahum’s moment, and he prophesied about 100 years after Jonah that Assyria would be destroyed.

But this time the reaction was different.  We do not know if Nahum delivered his prophecy in Nineveh, but in any case, he was ignored, and God’s judgment fell on the city and the society in 612BC.  A conglomeration of Medes, Babylonians, Chaldeans, Persians, Scythians and Cimmerians (commonly called the Medes) sacked the city and put the most of its people to the sword.  The Assyrian kingdom was completely destroyed as the Babylonian kingdom rose in power.

Joel Rosenberg asks this of we who are American today:
“Is America at a ‘Jonah’ moment or a ‘Nahum’ moment!?  Will we hear the Word of the Lord and admit that we have strayed so far from the teachings of the Bible and allowed our land to become polluted with 63 million abortions, with pornography and violence and wickedness of all kinds?  Will we admit how far we are from God’s plan and purpose for our lives?  Will we confess that our hearts are far from Jesus Christ and plead with the Lord for His mercy and grace and forgiveness?  Will we fast and pray and earnestly seek God’s face, and implore Christ to give us another Great Awakening?  Or will we be like the people of Nineveh during the time that Nahum came to preach?  Will we continue in our sins and watch our nation continue to decline, implode and/or face the full wrath of God in judgment?”

He also mentions the three Great Awakenings that have occurred in American history.  From 1720 to 1740 a movement swept over the colonies prior to our separation from England, and it affected England almost as much as the colonies.  With the teaching of Jonathan Edwards and John Wesley in America and George Whitfield and Charles Wesley in the United Kingdom, focus on the “new birth” and pious living, Bible study and prayer meetings seemed to capture the entire Western society, even spreading to other parts of Europe through the preaching of men like Nicholas Zinzendorf and Daniel Rowland.

The Second Great Awakening occurred from 1800 to 1840 and was mostly a US phenomenon.  Again, personal salvation was emphasized, but this time with a focus on human free will.  People by the hundreds of thousands repented of sins and changed their lifestyles, much as the Ninevites had done when Jonah preached.

The “Jesus Movement” of the 1960s and 70s was spawned when the youth culture of the US was becoming disenfranchised with the drug scene, materialism and despair over Viet Nam and government corruption.  Leaders such as Chuck Smith and John Wimber again emphasized individual responsibility for one’s actions and destiny and focused on the transformative power of the Holy Spirit to give peace with God as well as eternal life to any who would follow Jesus.  A single index finger raised meant you were a follower of The One.

We are now faced with a moment of decision in the United States, and possibly globally with Europe, Asia and Africa following our lead.  So with Mr. Rosenberg, I wonder, are we at a “Jonah moment” or are we at a “Nahum moment”? As I write this, a spontaneous ‘revival’ is breaking out in Asbury University and Asbury Seminary with continuous prayer, worship and Bible reading and study without any organizational sanction; just hungry people wanting to experience the Presence of The God Who Is!

Perhaps this tiny school in Wilmore, Kentucky, is the spark of what will become a nationwide development in the spiritual life of our country in countermeasure to the debauchery of last week’s Grammys, the Cancel Culture, abortion-advocacy, Critical Race Theory, transgenderism and pornography that plagues the US today.  Or it may be a ‘flash in the pan’ of a small number of people who long for God in a society that will refuse His grace.

“Will we fast and pray and earnestly seek God’s face, and implore Christ to give us another Great Awakening? However, if we don’t repent and turn back to the Lord Jesus Christ, we may very well consign ourselves to suffer the fate of the Ninevites during the time of Nahum.” (Joel Rosenberg)

Are we in a “Jonah moment” or a “Nahum moment”?

Jogging is for the wicked! Wordless Wednesday

Do Not Pray for This People

From our pulpits we hear constantly how God is merciful and forgives sin.  Often a mark of “success” of a sermon seems to be how good people feel about themselves as they leave a meeting or church service.  Pastors do not want to hear complaints or negative comments; they only want to be told how many attended and how large the offering was.  Would it meet the budget and have money for the programs?  The polish and prominence of the parish is the paramount proportion to show we are doing “the Lord’s work.”  This is not to say all pastors or church leaders are out of the loop of what Father may be planning, but there seems to have been so much emphasis in the last few decades on love that we have not heard any warnings about ignoring God’s goodness.

How rarely does one hear of God’s anger, even though there are over 150 references to God’s judgment in the Bible and only about half that in reference to God having mercy?  Of course, a word search does not fully reveal the themes of Scripture and certainly, God IS merciful.  The concept of His desire for none to be lost, and for all to come to repentance is rife throughout the Word.  The Bible is God’s love letter to us, that we can be saved from judgment!  Yet, one of the chief motivations to appeal for His mercy, is that unless we entreat Him for it, He WILL pronounce judgment on the recalcitrant.  His mercy is for anyone who requests it, but what of those who refuse to ask or do not even know that they should!?

God is certainly more patient than we are.  Within the book of Judges, there is a pattern of disobedience followed by punishment, followed by repentance, followed by deliverance, followed by repeated disobedience . . . over and over and over and over!!  This pattern continued throughout the Kings of Israel and Judah, until finally God’s patience wore out.  All along the way, He raised up many prophets to warn the people that judgment would come, until finally, He told Jeremiah to stop praying for the people!

How far down the path of calling good evil and evil good can we go before we have exhausted His patience again?  How many innocents who have not yet been born can we kill, sacrificing them to the gods of convenience, fame and money?  What does one make of an elected governor who says abortion is the way to love your neighbor!? (Ezekiel 16:35-38; 23:37-43).  How long can we keep putting darkness for light and light for darkness; how long can we exchange bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter; how long can we be wise in our own eyes, promote heroes for how much wine they can drink, and take bribes to acquit the guilty and deprive the innocent of their rights?  (Isaiah 5:20-25).

Is the USA past a point of no return?  Is God telling His people to stop praying for our nation?  When you pray for our leaders and the condition of our country, do you get a sense that Heaven is brass, and God will not listen anymore?  Who will warn the society that famine may be a season away, that a sword is being sharpened to cut off the life of the republic?  Should we not be concerned when the choices for our leaders have devolved so low, when Supreme Court Justices must fear for their lives because of ruling in favor of protecting the unborn?  Are the following warnings given to Jeremiah about Israel equivalent to God’s words to the United States?  Who will warn our people?

“Do not pray for this people, or lift up a cry or prayer for them, and do not intercede with me, for I will not hear you.  Do you not see what they are doing in the cities and in the streets?  The children gather wood, the fathers kindle fire, and the women knead dough, to make cakes for the Queen of Heaven.  And they pour out drink offerings to other gods, to provoke me to anger.  Is it I whom they provoke?  Is it not themselves, to their own shame?”  Therefore, thus says Yahweh-Elohim, “Behold, my anger and my wrath will be poured out on this place, upon man and beast, upon the trees of the field and the fruit of the ground; it will burn and not be quenched.” (Jeremiah 7:16-20)

“They have turned back to the iniquities of their forefathers, who refused to hear my words.  They have gone after other gods to serve them. …” Therefore, says Yahweh, “Behold, I am bringing disaster upon them that they cannot escape.  Though they cry to me, I will not listen to them.  Then they will go and cry to the gods to whom they make offerings, but they cannot save them in the time of their trouble.  For your gods have become as many as your cities, and as many as your streets are the altars you have set up to shame, altars to make offerings to Baal.  Therefore, do not pray for this people, or lift up a cry or prayer on their behalf, for I will not listen when they call to me in the time of their trouble.  What right has my beloved in my house, when she has done many vile deeds?  Can even sacrificial flesh avert your doom?” … Yahweh once called you ‘a green olive tree, beautiful with good fruit.’  But with the roar of a great tempest, He will set fire to it, and its branches will be consumed.  “I, Yahweh-tzavot [The LORD of hosts], who planted you, has decreed disaster against you, because of the evil you have done, provoking me to anger by making offerings to Baal.”  (Jeremiah 11:10-17)

“Yahweh said to me: “Do not pray for the welfare of this people.  Though they fast, I will not hear their cry, and though they offer … offerings, I will not accept them. But I will consume them by the sword, by famine, and by pestilence.”  Then I said: “Ah, Yahweh-Elohim, behold, the prophets say to them, ‘You shall not see the sword, nor shall you have famine, but I will give you assured peace in this place.’”  And Yahweh said to me: “The prophets are prophesying lies in my name. I did not send them, nor did I command them or speak to them.  They are prophesying to you a lying vision, worthless divination, and the deceit of their own minds.  Therefore, thus I, Yahweh say concerning the prophets who prophesy in my name although I did not send them, and who say, ‘Sword and famine shall not come upon this land’: By sword and famine those prophets shall be consumed.  And the people to whom they prophesy shall be cast out in the streets, victims of famine and sword, with none to bury them, their wives, their sons, and their daughters.  For I will pour out their evil upon them.” (Jeremiah 14:11-16)

May Yahweh, The God Who Is, have mercy on us.  Even so, Lord Jesus, come quickly.

Before the Resurrection

“As many were astonished at you, his appearance was so marred, beyond human semblance, and his form beyond that of the children of mankind.”  Isaiah 52:14

Resurrection Sunday came, but not before THIS happened.  Is it any wonder that as a man, Jesus was so strained in the Garden of Gethsemene, that “being in agony He prayed more earnestly; His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground.” (Luke 22:43-44)  Hematidrosis is a rare medical condition in which one oozes or “sweats” blood from the skin even thought there is no cut or injury.  Though usually not fatal of itself, it has most often occurred in people as they died or in prisoners facing execution.  He knew what was about to happen.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=125baeLbGvU

Not just the physical torture He was about to endure, but He knew the spiritual battle that we will never see – the acceptance of sin for which He was not guilty, sin that was none of His doing; all the pride, greed, lust, wrath, gluttony, envy, and sloth that you and I have committed; all the hatred, lies, murder, abuse and wickedness that men and women have perpetrated since the beginning of the earth until its end!  He was looking forward to bearing ALL that in a matter of hours.

And should we expect God will deliver us from all troubles?  Yet, “God did not keep bad things from happening to God Himself and there is no darkness into which He has not descended.  He knows the texture and taste of everything [we] most fear.”  (Tish Harrison Warren, Prayer in the Night)

Western Christians have become so soft and comfortable that the idea of suffering for Christ seems completely foreign.  Anticipating Sunday’s Resurrection, we glide through the pleasant days before with nothing to mark us but a little ash on our foreheads. 

So many “prosperity gospel” preachers have pounded out verses like Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope,” that we have come to believe any time we have a problem, we can just go to Jesus and He will fix it in a matter of minutes.  They ignore the context of Jeremiah’s encouragement that was in a letter to EXILES!  “To the surviving elders of the exiles, and to the priests, the prophets, and all the people, whom Nebuchadnezzar had taken into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon.”  Note, to the surviving elders!  Many had died; many more were taken into captivity in chains or herded like cattle between soldiers on horses.

Yes, it is a nice plan, but the prophet warned it would be 70 years❗, an average person’s lifetime, before God would start working out His plans for their welfare.  And so Jeremiah warned, “Do not let your prophets and your diviners who are among you deceive you, and do not listen to the dreams that they dream, for it is a lie that they are prophesying to you in My name; I did not send them, declares the LORD.”

Friend, if you want an easy life; if you want to avoid controversy; if you want to skate along with the culture, do not become a follower of Jesus!  If you are looking for prosperity and the “wonderful plan for your life” that some gospel peddlers offer, just take up their pitch and rest easy.  Go with the flow when government orders you to do something; obey every rule and do not make trouble.   Remember that the Nazis loved to quote the Bible in Romans 13:1, “Let every person be subject to the governing authorities.”   But they avoided Peter’s assertion in Acts 5:29, “We must obey God rather than men.”  And after beating the apostles, they let them go.

Stay with me here: the apostles did not go back to their little prayer group or life-affirming friends and say, “Oh, it was so terrible!  Those guys were so mean to us.  Please pray that Jesus will protect us from them and we will never encounter that again!”  On the contrary, “they left the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer dishonor for the Name.”  Then they kept on boldly teaching in the religious government’s headquarters (their Temple) and from house to house.

Are you willing to suffer loss for the sake of following our Lord?  Are you willing to be ostracized as a narrow-minded, anti-science freak?  Are you willing to “Count it all joy,… when you meet trials of various kinds?” (James 1:2) Have you read the Bible, the words of Jesus in Luke 9:23, “If anyone would come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow Me.”  This “cross” is not some illness or natural difficulty you may encounter.  “There is something frustrating that occurs on earth, namely, that there are righteous people to whom things happen as if they were doing wicked deeds; and, again, there are wicked people to whom things happen as if they were doing righteous deeds.” (Ecclesiastes 8:14 CJB)

The cross to which Jesus calls us is a choice to obey Him against what your family will call “common sense.”  Your friends will wag their heads and say, “Well, they went off the deep end!”  Even some religious advisers will warn you not to get too radical.  But for many of us, to follow Jesus will mean just that – a radical commitment to a God who was willing to suffer to redeem us.

Oh, and there is a reward, but we may not see it in this life!  Do not be so hasty for Sunday morning that you miss what happens before the Resurrection.  Are you willing to believe in a God who is willing to die for you?  Are you willing to die for a God who will save you?

False Time Magazine Cover – But Accurate

Artwork by graphic designer Patrick Mulder:

A Last Look at Love, Marriage and Sex in 2021

Today I will take a last look (for the present time) at love as it applies to marriage and then next week we will begin to look at some current issues in the news.

As I have mentioned in previous blogs, there is one and only one distinctive that defines a marriage.  Every service and provision except one that a husband and wife give to each other can be done by another.  This is evident in how The 5 Love Languages and Love and Respect can easily be applied to other relationships.  Even in His Needs, Her Needs, many of the emotional needs can be met by someone other than one’s spouse.  In fact, that is what Dr. Harley warns against, simply because if someone other than one’s spouse meets some of those needs, this could result in the development of an affair.  Thus his text is subtitled, Building an Affair-Proof Marriage.

Yet, many spouses may be handicapped or have some disability that prevents them from supplying one or more of those basic emotional needs, and there are people who make their living supplementing what a spouse cannot; e.g., companions who take people to shop or provide recreational outlets, financial advisors who regulate purchases and manage a spouse’s money, housekeepers who supply domestic support, etc..  But there is one service that others cannot supply without significant consequences.

James notes that “whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point has become guilty of all of it.”  That is to say that all sin IS sin, and that the most important issue is WHO is sinned against.  In his thinking, there is no difference between the various sins listed in the law as all of them are offenses against God’s holiness.  However, the apostle Paul makes a distinction of one sin that is different from any others,  He says in 1 Corinthians 6:18 that “Every sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.”  Furthermore, Jesus even indicated there are differences in ‘levels of sin’ when He told Pilate, “He who delivered me over to you has the greater sin.” (John 19:11)

So it is that the distinct aspect of sexual copulation is reserved for those in a committed relationship, a covenant of marriage.  This is more than a contract.  In a contract, Party 1 says, I will perform function A if Party 2 performs function B; Party 2 agrees to perform function B as long as Party 1 performs function A.  Contracts are mutually accepted constraints and responsibilities that remain dependent on the performers.  If Party 1 fails to provide function A, Party 2 is released from being required to provide function B, and vice versa.

But the Bible sets up marriage differently: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”  (Genesis 2:24)    Notice, the first responsibility is on the husband; nothing is said in Genesis about a wife’s role in the marriage, other than the sexual union of becoming one flesh.

This is consistent with the rest of Scripture that puts the onus on a husband to love his wife as he loves his own body; to be faithful to the point that even the Lord’s disciples said, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” (Matthew 19:10)  There is a mutuality to this relationship as Paul explains in his letter to the Corinthians, but it starts with a man’s responsibility to provide conjugal relations and affection for his wife, and then moves on to instruct that neither the husband nor the wife has final say about their own bodies, but rather the other party is in charge.

So where does that leave us in the covenant?  The current emphasis on “covenanting” in marriage is that even if one party does nothing to fulfill his or her part, the other party is still fully responsible for doing whatever they agreed to in the marriage ceremony: to love, honor, cherish, keep oneself only for one’s spouse, etc.  One friend once explained, “Any marriage that is based on a 50-50 agreement is dangerously close to dissolution.  Only a marriage based on 100-100 is safe.”

Drs. Harley and Eggerichs both point out in their books and websites that if someone attempts to do the exercise of providing for a spouse’s needs based on the idea, “I’ll try this for a couple of weeks and see if I get feedback that is acceptable,” he or she is likely to be sadly disappointed.  The issue is not to get your way in the marriage, as if The 5 Love Languages, the Energizing Cycle or supplying emotional needs for a spouse were means to manipulate a spouse into doing what you want them to do!

The bottom line for the Christ-follower, whether man or woman, is to please our Master, Jesus.   Suppose a husband said to his wife, “Let’s not talk any more.  We have enough memories of all our conversations and I have no desire to converse.  We can always text, email or even write letters, but let’s stop talking.”  Or imagine a wife who says, “Let’s not have sex anymore.  We have enough memories from our bedroom and I have no desire to do it anymore. We can always cuddle and hug, but let’s stop lovemaking.”

The responsibility to provide your spouse’s needs are not dependent on their willingness to provide for yours!  Our responsibility is to the author of life, our Creator, and He will judge or reward us according to what we have done while in these bodies.  NOTE: this is not about salvation, which is accomplished by the blood of Jesus and His resurrection, but He will reward us based on the work we have done as His followers. (See 1 Corinthians 3:10-14.)

So whatever your relation to your spouse is like, it is up to you to fulfill your responsibility to speak your spouse’s Love Language, to show Love and Respect unconditionally, to provide for their basic emotional needs, and to enjoy The Gift of Sex that is exclusively reserved for those in a covenant of marriage.  It is that which expresses most clearly our relationship to Christ as part of His church.  It is the distinctive that defines a marriage and no one else is allowed by the Creator to supply.